I’m back!
One of the reasons I so desperately needed a break from blogging was that my daughter reached a developmental milestone that has made parenting exceedingly difficult.
She became increasingly verbal and shall we say opinionated? A bit stubborn? A tad obstinate? A pain in the tuchus?
(photo provided by the lovely and talented Kate of Replikatelife.com)
I just can’t understand why no one warned me that as she approached two this would happen.
What’s that you say?
Everyone tried to warn me?
There’s even a name for this? The terrible twos?
Oh.
Well, hell.
I don’t know why it is that we have Siri and the Ipod Touch* but we have not yet invented anything that will make MY life easier as the mother of an almost two year old.
I propose NASA or Bill Gates or someone get on these ideas STAT:
- Robotic claw that senses the exact moment your toddler has reached REM sleep and covers them with a blanket, ditto for socks.
- A fuel gauge that can accurately tell me if she is low on food or sleep or full of ummm… yeah you know.
- A spell that would temporarily turn either my husband or me into the preferred parent of choice, that way when she screams “I want DADDY” all I would have to do is leave the room and come back as “daddy” until four and a half seconds later she demanded MOMMY back.
- A constant nose wiper/over wiped nose soother.
- A magic box that shows pretty moving pictures and pleasant sounds which would entertain the toddler long enough for me to shower.
What’s that you say?
There IS a magic box that shows pretty moving pictures and pleasant sounds which might entertain the toddler long enough for me to shower?
Is it called a television by any chance? Because android husband has expressly forbidden television viewing until toddler turns two.
It’s called a MELEVISION?
SA-WEET! Sign me up!
*yes I realize the IpodTouch has maximum toddler distraction potential but we do not speak of such things on the blog in case the Waldorf school we have our heart set on reads this
