Something I find baffling about adulthood is how hard it is to make friends.
When you’re a kid it’s relatively simple, or at least that’s the way I remember it being. In the sixth grade one girl gave me Kerropi stationary for Christmas and we became best friends forever. Easy peasy.
Then I got old and married and became a mom and I have found it increasingly difficult to make friends. I mean there’s a reason “playdate” has the word “date” in it, because it feels exactly like dating.
You meet other moms (and dads) everywhere: the pediatrician’s office, the playground, your weekly tribal drumming class, whatever.
You casually scope each other out: parent is appropriately dressed and offspring appears only slightly feral, parent drives hybrid car with “I brake for manatees” bumper sticker, snacks are organic and homemade but feature Sesame street characters, okay these people could be my friends, maybe?
I believe friendships with other parents must be based on mutual interests, shared parenting philosophies and the ability to French braid one another’s hair.
But you can’t tell all of that from one glance across a grocery store aisle or by rifling through their diaper bag when they leave to use the restroom during story time at the library.
Don’t you wish there was an easier way to gather this sort of in depth analysis?
I do.
And so I have decided to create a questionnaire for prospective friends.
The questionnaire will cover all of the important parenting hot topics and will help you avoid those awkward moments when you realize you are the only one breastfeeding a toddler/Hot Saucing/homeschooling nineteen children or whatever your unique approach may be.
I will add questions to the questionnaire until I have created the perfect compatibility matching system.
Let’s get started. Here is question #1

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Next week we’ll tackle “what’s in your kid’s sippy cup?”