This Thursday am, at an un-Godly hour, I will be making my way over to Creative Alliance in Ojai, CA for what is sure to be an inspirational weekend surrounded by talented, amazing women. Unlike other, bigger conferences this particular get together is intimate and promises to be ‘a smart and soulful experience where authentic and strategic alliances can be formed among creative business women in the online community’.
Sounds awesome doesn’t it?
I know I have no reason to stress about this one, as past attendees all promise that everything is chill, laid back, and yoga-pants-uniform casual
But still I worry.
Not about myself mind you, but about everyone else going. Because I am considerate like that.
I’ve thought about things I could do to put everyone at ease, to help them feel more at home and since most of the women attending are mothers, I’ve deicded to do the following to help them transition without a hitch:
- upon waking my mission will be to wake everyone else, as loudly and quickly as possible (perhaps I should pack a bugle?)
- prior to all meals and unscheduled snack breaks I will come up to each attendee, loving place my hands on their cheeks, squeezing ever so gently, and scream ‘I’M HUNGRY HUNGRY HUNGRY HUNGRY’….then I will refuse every edible thing that’s put in front of me
- I will wail each time I don’t get my way
- I will sob and stomp my feet if someone should stop paying attention to me for one solitary second
- I will wear pajamas all weekend
- I will ensure that no one can miss the end of one activity and the start of another, thanks to my piercing shrieks of protest
and here is a list of things I came up with just for my bedmate, Kelly Tirman:
- I will wake her every 87 minutes, ensuring that REM sleep is never achieved, thus maintaining optimal brain fuction (how lucky is she y’all?)
- I will push her to the very edge of the bed and then demand that she move over
- As a sign of ultimate respect, I shall pee the bed
So excited! And off on a nine hour car ride we go…
Tags: creative alliance