I’ve been a terrible friend to Write on Edge, an online community that is ‘a place for writers to gather, exchange ideas and learn something about the art of storytelling.’ In fact it’s been so long since I wrote something with Write on Edge that they were still called the Red Dress Club when I did! I kept wanting to join in on the prompts and kept talking myself out of it for a million different reasons.
But this week the prompt begged me to join, it asked to explore friendship, a current one or one from your past and to look at the role it plays in your life.
I knew just what to talk about.
You see I have this friend…
I shout and share my exciting news: published, I’m going to be published in a real magazine where they pay me money for words I strung together!
Really? Well I hope you don’t get your hopes up, it’s a local magazine and isn’t likely to lead to other opportunities. And honestly? If other opportunities do come along you need to accept that you might put years into this ‘writing thing’ with nothing to show for it at the end of it all. It’s not a real job. Besides don’t you have a job? Aren’t you a blogger? *snickering*
I’m a stay at home mom, remember? I suppose that’s not a real job either.
Well I hate to say it like this, but it’s just not. Not to mention your kid is in preschool two mornings a week now and you have a nanny to help you occasionally? Does that even count as being a stay at home mom? That’s like saying I’m a ballerina because occasionally I watch ballet.
That’s not very nice.
Well dear, sometimes you don’t need someone to be nice, you need someone to be honest. Speaking of honesty, have you looked in the mirror lately? How is it even possible to gain twenty pounds in one year? Do you eat in your sleep?
I don’t know. I’m trying to get healthier. I am.
You’re going to have to try a lot harder than that. Didn’t you want to get pregnant again? Though if you want my opinion, can you even handle another kid? Look at how things are turning out with your first one.
What is that supposed to mean?
You’re sleeping upstairs in a separate bedroom from your husband? She’s almost two and just barely sleeps through the night, if she feels like it. Does that seem normal to you? Maybe if you had been stricter in the beginning like I told you to be, you wouldn’t be dealing with the fallout from this co-sleeping nonesense. You know, how she acts is a direct reflection on who you are as a parent.
So she doesn’t sleep. She’s an awesome little kid.
You know, how she acts has no bearing on who you are as a parent, that’s just her personality.
I give up.
Of course you do. Quitter.
I want to break up with this friend.
Too bad the bitch lives inside my head.