I will use the pronoun “she” because I have a girl toddler child.
1. She is hungry. Specifically, she is hungry for the pretzels of the kid in the other swing and the inferior (exact same) pretzels you brought for her as a snack just won’t do.
2. She is Sleepy (substitute with other appropriate dwarfs…Sneezy, Bashful, Grumpy, etc)
3. You have misplaced her favorite toy/blankie/piece of trash that she had become unreasonably attached to.
4. There are sharp calcified structures protruding from her jaws.
5. The way daddy reads “Goodnight Moon” is not the way mommy reads it. This is devastating.
6. Her majesty’s exact orders weren’t carried out to her specifications (I gave her the blue cup instead of the orange, because I am an imbecile.)
7. She has to poop.
8. We stupid parents can’t grasp her sophisticated communication system. (Does anyone out there have ANY idea what “sehveh” could possibly mean?)
9. You insist on correcting her vision of the world. In her world order seven comes after five and you being a big fat bubble burster are constantly trying to convince her that six comes after five, which frankly is rather uninspired.
10. She is a toddler which makes her the same chronological age as your ex-boyfriend, remember what a jerk he was?
Tags: parenting a toddler