atrociously wordy for a wednesday

My computer is broken.

I am writing this from the laptop.

The laptop I am currently sharing with Husband-who-drives-me-to-drink-a.

Notice how we’re all egalitarian and what not around here until the shit hits the fan, or the motherboard, and then it’s all and I quote, you need to create a separate user name for yourself when you’re using MY laptop unqote.

I’d like to point out, I wouldn’t even need to use HIS laptop if MY computer hadn’t broken.

Now I’m not implying that it’s Husband-who-drives-me-to-drink-a’s fault that MY computer is broken, but I am strongly questioning that what, pray tell, is the point of being married to a code monkey, er software engineer, if he can’t telepathically communicate with the electronics and¬†telekinetically, preemptively and inexpensively fix these things thereby allowing me to continue my job, er blogging hobby, without interruptions.

Perhaps this is Husband-who-drives-me-to-drink-a’s passive aggressive payback.

For what?

I’m glad you asked…

You see last week Husband-who-drives-me-to-drink-a came home to find a man on my doorstep. A youngish, attractivish man in uniform. I tired to convince Husband-who-drives-me-to-drink-a that I was having an affair, I think we could have bounced back from something like that. But alas, the man, let’s call him Fabio, and his bolt cutters had been dispensed from the power company to shut off our power.

Don’t worry I convinced Fabio not to shut off our power (I can be very persuasive) but apparently this is exactly the kind of callous attitude towards our finances that cause my android hubby to function outside of normal parameters.

Great. Now I guess I’ll have to run diagnostics on both Husband-who-drives-me-to-drink-a and MY computer.

This post shall serve as my excuse for lack of quality blog posts from here on out until the computer is fixed. Oh hell since I’m excusing myself, this also serves an excuse for my lack of quality blog posts previous to this incident as well.

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23 Responses to “atrociously wordy for a wednesday”

  1. Marinka says:

    Sharing a computer is the worst. You have my sympathy.

  2. Arnebya says:

    Husband-who-drives-me-to-drink-a-excessively-on-the-tequila and I share both a computer and a laptop; the computer is more mine. An older gentleman was at our door two weeks ago just a friendly knockin’ away. Here to turn off your gas, you see, due to non payment. Really? Seriously? We owe $200. In the summer it was up to $1100 (we only use gas for heat so we take the summer to pay off the bill to have it at zero before the next winter). Um, I haven’t made a few payments = understood callousness and general eh well. Since you asked. Also, it was cold as shi…stuff over the weekend. So space heaters. Which will make the electric bill go up. Which I haven’t paid. I’m sorry. Did your misery not want company?

  3. CDG says:


    Sorry about your computer, though. We had to share for three days over the summer, and it was nearly the end of us.

  4. OMG, our water got shut off last week! Stupid utility companies wanting money from us!

    We only have one PC and one laptop. I do not use the laptop cuz it’s too hard for me to see. Whenever my husband (who-also-drives-ME-to-drink) gets on the PC, I get a little offended. I think he likes to taunt me.

  5. Okay, I don’t want to make you jealous or anything, but when we got a second computer, it was pretty much the BEST DAY OF MY LIFE. So what I’m saying is that you sharing a computer gives me a special ache in my heart. I’ll pray for you!

  6. Ann says:

    Would Picasso share his brushes? You need to rectify this situation immediately.

  7. I hate when my husband touches my computer. I gave him his own web browser on it so his soccer sites would stop trying to get me to care when I really want to tweet about forgetting to wear underwear. Wait, what were we talking about?

  8. Elaine says:

    I’m kinda wishing you had gotten a picture of “Fabio” to share with us. Next time, k? Although you probably wouldn’t be able to upload it anyway on said husband’s laptop, right? ;P

  9. Things must be really bad. This post contains no pictures.

  10. Jessica says:

    This is why I have 2 computers and maybe a 3rd and a 4th hiding somewhere in the house. Perhaps you should set up auto pay for your bills.

  11. Kimberly says:

    We have 4 computers in the house. There is no possible way I would ever be nice enough to share with my husband or son. What? It would take away my tweeting time! ;)

  12. Nichole says:

    Giggle. ;)
    Perhaps you need an iPad…you know, for backup.

  13. The secret to a happy marriage is separate computers.

  14. I think your computer should break more often. It brings out the warrior writer in you : )
    Cutting off the power? Oh vey!

  15. I absolutely agree with Julie! Two computers are a must! Also isn’t power essential to blogging?

  16. What, may I ask, is wrong with drinking? That being said, you should be able to drink AND have your own computer space. Oh, the injustice of it all.

  17. Kelley says:

    Ha! I love your wordiness. I also love that you have a bad attitude about finances like me. It’s not necessarily BAD, maybe just a flippant attitude? Nonchalant? My man doesn’t like it either.

  18. If I were to add all the late fees we have ever paid, plus reconnection fees … I could probably hide a laptop in every closet! You have my deepest sympathy on this – really!

  19. Jessica says:

    Sharing ugh. That’s for kids, not adults.

  20. [...] Inadequate computer support. See broken computer. [...]

  21. Hmmm, I notice you didn’t tell us what you did to convince Fabio not to cut off your power. Do you have a secret life you’re neglecting to tell us about? I laughed at that line, ” I‚Äôll have to run diagnostics on both Husband-who-drives-me-to-drink-a and MY computer” – can’t wait to tell Alpha Hubby since he sometimes acts like an android, too!!! You know what’s funny? Even at what you consider your worst in blog posting, you are funnier than most others! You rock, seriously!

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