Don’t let my lack of popularity fool you, I have been blogging for quite some time now and I know a thing or two.

Of course saying “two foolproof ways to win at blogging” wouldn’t do much for my SEO (see SEO is proof that I am blog savvy) so today I am going to share with you the five foolproof ways to WIN at blogging:

1. Invent a time machine and travel back in time to 2002-ish. Begin year long quest to make every recipe in Julia Child’s “Mastering the Art of French Cooking” or move to ranch and marry a cowboy. Note: must have dog named Charlie.

2. Start a rad design blog. Note: must be Mormon.

3. Become an awesome food blogger. Note: must be professional chef, professional photographer and professional food stylist. And preferably have an allergy to gluten, dairy, soy or high fructose corn syrup.

4. Pick any of the following strategies:

• Set up special alert for whenever a new blogger enters the blogosphere, become their BFF/fairy blogmother, comment, retweet, and generally promote the hell out of them. They will then be forever indebted to you and will make up the foundation of your army.
• Write about personal tragedy, preferably an obscure illness.
• Be undeniably and universally hilarious, preferably with hand drawn pictures of stick figures or the like.
• Write honestly and candidly about motherhood, fatherhood, politics, etc.
• Write the words “breastfeeding” “circumcision” or” co-sleeping” a minimum of 4,763 page views are guaranteed.

5. Have an attractive and unique blog design. Create fabulous content which adds value to your targeted readership. Interact with your community. Utilize appropriate social media channels to promote your brand. Note: must treat blogging as full time job/hobby/spouse/child to have and to work for better or worse,  for richer or poorer, forsaking all others, as long as you both shall live.

You’re welcome.

Tags: blogging about blogging

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 1st, 2011 at 2:48 pm and is filed under Meta-Blogging, Sass. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.