This little piggy

No fat jokes please.

Those task masters over at the Red Dress Club (an online writing community) (I’m a writer now, doncha know?) wanted to us describe a scene from our life that would help show a person that we are meeting for the first time our true selves.


The scene last night as I attempted to write was thus…

7:42 PM Nurse baby down to sleep.

8:22 PM Teething baby cries, re-nurse baby down to sleep. I lament to Twitter.

9:10 PM Dog barks at her long time arch nemisis, the TREE OUTSIDE, wakes baby, I re-nurse baby down to sleep.  I appeal to Twitter.

10:01 PM Teething baby cries.  I attempt to Cry It Out. After forty seven seconds of crying alone in the bathroom, husband finally comforts me and I re-nurse the baby to sleep.

10:22 PM ditto above, most people on Twitter are now ignoring my crazy status updates (special thanks to@in_mandyland and @DancesWithChaos for putting up with me)

11:03 PM I give up any hope of sleeping.

Instead of any deep and meaningful introspective prose about who I am, (who are any of us really?) I give you this laundry list instead:

  • I have always been and will forever remain a chatterbox. My fifth grade teacher used to set a timer and I wasn’t allowed to talk until it went off…always the longest fifteen minutes of my life.
  • I played violin for four years, and was AWFUL, truly AWFUL at it.  I switched to cello and things improved drastically, see it wasn’t me contrary to what my orchestra teacher would have you believe.
  • I made of fun of anyone and everyone planning to attend UC Davis, the college of cows. I ate my words when I enrolled there myself.
  • I picked my major by going through the college handbook and eliminating anything that required math or organic chemistry.  Hence Communication and Sociology, two of the world’s most useful majors (behind Philosophy even.)
  • I was in a sorority.  Shut up.
  • I am a huge Beatles fan, I was born a few decades too late to live out my dream of seeing them perform live.
  • I am a closet nerd.  I love science fiction, my favorite shows are Star Trek the Next Generation, (Gilmore Girls, it’s sci fi because the relationship is between the mother and daugther is like the Twilight zone to me) and most recently Firefly. Okay maybe I’m not a closet nerd…more like I don’t go to Star Trek conventions wearing a Starfleet uniform (yet)
  • I have always hated feet with a passion.  I think they are ICKY and I would rather do anything else than be a person who gives pedicures for a living or be a podiatrist. I hate when people touch my feet, and I can count on one hand the number of times I have touched my husband’s feet. EWWW
  • Since becoming a mother I have had to adjust many of personal preferences, for example the earlier stance on feet is currently under revision..

Please visit the other lovely people linking up at the Red Dress Club today!

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66 Responses to “This little piggy”

  1. tulpen says:

    I was a Philosophy major!! Bwahahahaha!!

    And feet are gross.

    • Yuliya says:

      Oh my god, I am so sorry! I only meant to offend people IRL that are philosophy majors…you forgive me right?

  2. CDG says:

    I love that you just tossed the prompt back and did the laundry list anyway.

    To me, that speaks volumes about who you are.

    When faced with giving up on participating for totally valid reasons, you joined in anyway with humor and grace.

    I’m a lucky girl, partner!

  3. I will find a way to rib you endlessly about being a sorority girl. But for now, I’ll just slobber over that gorgeous little girl of yours and wish I had that nail polish.

    oh, and I’m with CDG. AND intensely jealous of 2 of my favorite people get to work together. fockers both of you!

    • Yuliya says:

      I think Nichole did that on purpose, pairing CDG and me…she knew it would just kill you, she’s so mean!

  4. Mandy says:

    I love this! And I love that you linked up even after crazy late night nursing sessions.

    Now, on to the nitty gritty…

    You show exceedingly good taste in your sci-fi watching and music listening.

    I’m so happy to know that you play cello. I play the flute. Very badly. We’re on our way to an orchestra.

    I’m going to ignore that you were in a sorority.

    My brother-in-law works at UC Davis. It could have been worse. UC Santa Cruz boasts the Banana Slug as a team mascot.

    That’s all I have. I hope you get a nap today and that tonight is a little easier. :)

    • Yuliya says:

      C’mon sororities are awesome! And thank you for listening to me bitch and moan yesterday it really helped :)

  5. How have we not met?! lol But, I can relate to quite a bit……every report card I every had hollered at me for talking too much, I played violin…but, only for a year, I was a sociology major in college, and adore scifi in an obsessive, but not going to conventions kind of way. :>

    Oh yea, and kudos for blogging at all after no sleep and just love those pics of your sweet li’l one having some little piggy fun!

    Stopping in from the RDC! :>

    • Yuliya says:

      We haven’t because clearly my PR department stinks. I’m off to fire some people…

      I don’t know man I think the conventions look fun…one day….

  6. I love YOUR take on this prompt.

  7. tracy says:

    LOL – OMG you are an awful mom – you let her cry for 47 seconds or so. tsk tsk…;)

    Love your awesome pedicure. No feet pics will ever be shown on my blog.

    I love you anyway because I feel I have to.

    Weird huh?

    • Yuliya says:

      I cannot believe I showed a picture of my feet, that will probably be something I regret later, but did she see her face she was so delighted with my feet!

      And point of clarification I did all the crying :)

  8. Ash says:

    You’re a good egg, my dear. So sorry for all the craziness. And thanks for adding another reason to my “con” side of the Getting a Dog list.

    P.S. Please don’t tell Mandy, who also happens to be my writing partner, but I was in a sorority as well.

    I know. We need a support group.

    • Yuliya says:

      My dog didn’t even bark until we had the baby now she feels it’s her job to protect us, and is always barking and WAKING THE BABY!!!! It makes me want to kill her.

      YAY sororities! I would have NEVER guessed that about you…

  9. liz says:

    what sorority were you in? i love that you were timed. :)

    • Yuliya says:

      I was in a local Jewish interest sorority, it was an associate member of Panhellenic but didn’t have to conform to all of the rules like formal rush for example…it was the best of both worlds I think. I am assuming you were a sorority girl? :)

  10. Alexandra says:

    I’m like you. I read the rules, and then do what I can do.

  11. Melanie says:

    Love this!

    I’m with you, when it comes to feet, though baby feet, can definitely make you change your mind. My 12 month old’s feet are so cute I can’t help but keep squeezing them. They’re like little Hobbit feet…Of course, no one dares do that to mine’s… ;-) 3 year old feet are pretty cute too. :-) )

    • Yuliya says:

      I think baby feet are darling but I think I will eventually get to a point where I will become icked out by her feet…and I will probably give her all sorts of complexes.

  12. Jessica says:

    I hate feet too and know what I love about this most, besides that adorable baby? That we both happen to be in the support group for trdc-ers who must follow every rule. You didn’t follow them and made this your own. Love it.

  13. Erin says:

    Feet are nasty! But baby feet are adorable!
    And? I read the tweet, i’ve watched pretty little liars! Ha

    • Yuliya says:

      SHHHHHH! I specifically picked a time on Twitter when I thought no one was paying attention! I haven’t just watched it, I WATCH it, like seen every episode…so embarrassing.

  14. I am simply amazed you had the energy to write.

    I’m not certain I did much more than listen – sadly the cluster feeding because baby is teething scenario is just one of those evil things they never warn you about when you become a parent. If only it was OK to give babies Vicodin – I’m told babies teethe because we couldn’t handle the pain as adults.

    I love the twist you made on it.

    But a sorority girl? Really?

    I’ll forgive you, because you have excellent taste in sci-fi.

    Great post!

    • Yuliya says:

      I remember getting my wisdom teeth in and it hurt SO MUCH, every time I get frustrated with her crying I try to think of that and how bad she must feel.
      And we have much sci fi love in common :)

  15. Jessica says:

    I have seriously been thinking about setting a timer for my chatterbox child lately because her talking has been driving me up the wall. I guess communication is a good degree for a chatterbox. I hope your night tonight goes better than last night.

    • Yuliya says:

      Well I don’t know what to tell you, I don’t know that setting a timer really worked it just made me super sensitive to people saying I talk too much…
      And I am still a chatty chatty girl.

  16. Oh. Lord. Feet. ACK! The only cute feet are baby feet!!

  17. Jessica Anne says:

    I think the way you approached this prompt is telling of who you are right now. I went to UC Davis vet school, very familiar with the cows. :)

    • Yuliya says:

      Oh you mean you are “familiar” with cows! And yay for Davis, wasn’t it the best? I loved it. It’s where I met my husband too.

  18. Frelle says:

    I love this post. I was online when you were being frustrated in your attempt to write too. I was having a hard time and had decided not to link up. But today I wrote something and linked anyway. At #71 :)

    I am a Firefly and Star Trek TNG and general scifi fan too! And I loved your list and learning more about you! :)

    • Yuliya says:

      Woo hoo for sci fi! I didn’t get into Firefly at first, because a western sci fi, that was a weird concept.

  19. Katie says:

    ummm…i did the laundry list. still waiting for my whipping from the other two.

    and guess what? I was timed too.

    when I am uncomfortable? I talk even more. because I am awkward.

  20. Renee says:

    This was perfect.
    I don’t like my feet messed with too!

  21. I have those nights, too. I can’t do CIO. Nor can I nurse anymore (both my girls weaned themselves at 6 mos). But I can get up and rock with them or pull them into bed with me. So I do. Sigh…. And I don’t have issues with feet, but I don’t like people to touch my ears. Our oldest holds them when she’s falling asleep. The things we do for love.

    • Yuliya says:

      Now you know that I was doing the CIO, as in I did all the crying not her :)
      Oh my god what are the odds that your oldest would want to hold the one body part you don’t like having touched? Crazy!

  22. Leighann says:

    Your child is adorable.
    I think I say that every time I see her.

    Teething is stupid.

    • Yuliya says:

      My child continues to steal the show. Sigh. And teething is beyond stupid especially since baby teeth just fall out! Who invented this system?

  23. Mel says:

    Dude, I picked my major in college the SAME WAY! Social work, baby!

  24. Amanda says:

    Motherhood changes a lot of your previous stances. Just wait until you turn away from your baby as they eat something off of the floor. It’s better than fishing it out of a toddler’s mouth when they are adamant that they want to hold on to that prize. Teaching them about germs can come later. I do have very clean floors. :)

    • Yuliya says:

      Honestly I barely batted an eyelash when le bebe began to eat things off of the floor…it’s so hard to believe I’m not all obsessive about germs but I’m not (thanks vodka!)

  25. Carrie says:

    Feet look like squashed hands….that is all ;)

    Visiting from RDC

    Oh, and your daughter is ADORABLE!! And I felt your pain about the no sleep, nurse back to sleep thing. It DOES get better

  26. Oh my goodness. That first picture. She cracks me up. All I can tell you is you forget… unless of course you’ve blogged through the misery. Then you will remember. But the memory will be all fuzzy, and all you will see is that cutie patootie face.

  27. That top picture???!!!! Too DIE for!! SO cute!!

  28. Hee!

    I’m glad your husband did let you cry it out too long.

    That can be traumatic.

    And…seeing as how I went as a TNG Starfleet Officer for Halloween last year, there will be only celebration of nerd-dom.

    • Yuliya says:

      So you’re probably not going to want to wear the same costume again this year…hint hint…let Yuliya borrow it hint hint.

      And honestly? Sometimes I wish someone would just leave me the hell alone so I can cry to my heart’s content. And by cry I probably mean Tweet.

  29. I want to cry every time I read pieces that didn’t follow the prompt. Puppies die then, too, you know..


    Now I must let myself cry it out.


  30. Teething babies suck so bad. Tried the hyland’s teething gel? Or tablets? Or vodka? For you AND the baby!

    Ah, the Beatles. I just introduced the Chalupa to the remastered box set and now he requests it on a daily basis. Yeah. I’m a great mother.

    Ps- Aliza’s hair ROCKS

  31. Amy says:

    So, this sounds a lot like the craziness of my life too! Babies tend to change your mind about so many things too (feet?) haha!

  32. Sherri says:

    Now that little face? Is adorable, no matter what the expression! I love your laundry list, and of course the part about you being a chatterbox… :-)

    And the College of Cows? Too funny…I will not share this with my son just yet.

  33. What a sweet baby.

    And a BIG CONGRATS on your syndication.

  34. le chef says:

    I HAD to play violin because I was “too small for the cello”. I just bought one. Now I stare at it, and occasionally take it out and pluck it.
    I got my degree(s) because they didn’t require math.
    I’m a nerd. No shame there.
    I was born head first just so I didn’t have to touch my own feet. I will NEVER touch my husbands feet, but I did touch my kid’s feet when they were babies. Now they are too old.
    I totally get it. Rock on lady.

    • Yuliya says:

      Okay, and this is important, when did you stop touching your children’s feet? Because I suspect that one day I will stop being able to as well and maybe we can provide moral support for each other?

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